-There are two types of people in this world: good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more .
-I don't want to achieve immortality through my work…I
want to achieve it through not dying.
-The food in this place is really terrible. Yes, and such small portions. That's essentially how I feel about life.(Annie Hall)
-The thing to remember is that each time of life has its appropriate rewards, whereas when you're dead it's hard to find the light switch. The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
(The Early Essays)
-If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
(Selections from the Allen Notebooks, New Yorker)
-I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
-I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's so hard to find your way around Chinatown.
-If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
-More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
-94.5% of all statistics are made up.
-Why ruin a good story with the truth?
-It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
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